I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize