Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
