Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
