im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
