i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
