Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I smell like Dick and happiness
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
