apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
