A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
