beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
