we have officially lost it.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize