2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Randomize
