I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
