i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
