Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
