She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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