Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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