guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
ttyl tear gas
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
