where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
