She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
