He told me they were just razor bumps!
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Success! We fucked roommates!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
