quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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