btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
