let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
