somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
