I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
