Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
