Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
