He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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