Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
