forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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