That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
