If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
