We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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