ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
