your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
