Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
