I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
