"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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