You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You were trust falling into bushes
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
