Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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