We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
