I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I am one with the molecules
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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