Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
