He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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