yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
