My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Randomize
