HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
