I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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