Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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