And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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