i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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