Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
