I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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