Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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