i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
