would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
