their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
