you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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